I just got interviewed! Check it out..

I just got interviewed! Check it out...

'Doesn't everybody talk to them self? Honestly... ...'

Experience Project talks with one of today's hidden gems in an exclusive interview covering Totally Random Questions About Anything and Everything

By The Experience Project Editorial Staff

October 1, 2007, 3:53 pm CST

SAN FRANCISCO (EP Wire) -

Experience Project recently had the opportunity to sit down with......

Read my interview | Get interviewed

Do not stand by my grave and weep

Do not stand by my grave and weep

by Mary E. Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep:
I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the softly falling snow,
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the field of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,
I am in the grateful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight.
I am the starshine of the night.

I am in the flowers that bloom.
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing.
I am in each lovely thing.

So do not stand by my grave and cry.
I am not there.
I did not die.

A story of modern celebrity: The trials of Anna Nicole

Worthy quotes from the Independent article, by David Usborne

She's given birth to a daughter, seen her son die in her arms - and sold the family pictures for $650,000. Now, she's said to have married her lawyer, one of the baby's two possible fathers. Even by her standards, the past month in the life of America's most outrageous personality defies belief.

They do say that in America any dream can come true if you try hard enough.... It helps if you have a brain, but even that is not entirely necessary. Women should always consider breast enhancement surgery.

...you may have taken the tragic side of the Monroe mystique a little far in the past couple of weeks...

It begs that old film title game again: "Two Fathers, a Baby, a Wedding and a Funeral".

...she gave birth to a girl named Dannie Lynn or Dannilynn, depending on which tabloid version of the happy event you are reading.

Few of us have experienced as much personal trauma as Ms Smith. Surely, September 2006 was the moment for her to put family and soul before headlines. But that, apparently, just isn't her style...

Read the complete article

The Unhealthy Relationship

my lover
for 20 years
we have known each other
you have been there for me
when no other has
consoling me in my darkest hours
never apart
for more than a few hours
lest my failed attempt
10 years ago
to leave you behind
i have tried several times
to leave you
but each time i have failed
you always call me back
i always come running
even though you suffocate me
and i know that some day
you will be my death
but you are an addiction
that's hard to break
an unhealthy relationship
which i know i must end
and when i do
i will celebrate my freedom
while also mourning
the loss of my best friend
nicotine

And I smoke

I created this blog
To take the place of my original blog
Smoke Rings in the Dark
When I was attempting to quit smoking
But
I started smoking again
And started posting on Smoke Rings again
But I still maintain this blog to some degree
Probably as much as I do any other blog
I will attempt to quit smoking again
But this time
I won't even plan to stop posting to my other blog
Smoke Rings in the Dark
Was not just named with smoking in mind
It has many other connotations in my life
It represents the general fog
That I still to this day
Smoking or not
Live my life in
As that blog's tagline states
A look at life through a cloud of cigarette smoke
But it's not just cigarette smoke
It's the hazy uncertainty
That has come to define
My existence
Of course it also references the song
By the same name
And in referencing the song
It in turn references my mother
Just as this blog
The Cheesebox
References my mother
Her cheesebox
Her poetry and other writings
And here I shall carry on that legacy
Which is why this blog
Like my other
Must go on

Dusting Off The Cheesebox

I can't believe I haven't posted in here since right after Mother's Day. Well... I mean... yes, I can believe it -- it just doesn't seem like it's been that long. I intended to post more later on in May -- around the time of the 6th anniversary of my mother's death and Memorial Day, but those events came and went with no posts, as you can see. Then came Father's Day, the Fourth of July, and my 38th birthday. And here I am, August 19th, finally posting again.

You know what? Today is also the anniversary of a significant event in my life -- it's the 19th anniversary of the day I was released from Letterman Army Medical Center after a more than 3 month stay there. The day I left San Francisco for a "brief visit" back to Michigan while I awaited the finalization of my medical discharge. The day my short army career came to an end, and I faced a whole new beginning. The world was my oyster.

On this day in 1987, I sat in the window seat of a plane and watched the city of San Francisco get smaller and smaller below me. I bid the city farewell, but "only for awhile" -- I promised I would soon be back. I had it all set up. The nice lady at the donut shop down the street offered me a job. One of the night nurses at the hospital offered to let me stay with her until I'd gotten back on my feet. I would begin my life anew in the most beautiful city in the world -- San Francisco. But something went wrong...

Here I sit, 19 yrs later -- still in Michigan. And I've accomplished nothing of real value in that time. It's almost as though my life has been on hold. Like I've been here this entire time just visiting family. Like I'm still waiting to return to San Francisco to begin my life again. Do you think the donut shop is still there? Is the nice lady that owned it still around? Would she remember me? Would her job offer still stand? What about the nurse who was willing to let me stay with her? I doubt any of the above. But does that mean it's to late to return to San Francisco? And would my life be better if I did?

Perhaps I should make good on my promise to the city and return to find out...

Just Another Day...

Well I made it through another mother's day... the sixth since my mom died. And of course it's closing in on the 6th anniversary of her death, as well. So, yeah... I spent the day listening to my 'Tribute to Mom' mood on my launchcast station... and remembering my last mother's day spent with mom. Mom's last mother's day was difficult... it was just 2 weeks or so before she died, and we knew the end was near. She was bedridden and so doped up on morphine she didn't know what day it was. When I came to wish her a happy mother's day,

all she could say was 'it's not mother's day is it? no... no... it can't be'. I bought her a card, which I had to read to her. (Did you know they make mother's day cards for dying mother's? Yes... it's true!) I also bought her one of those metallic helium-filled balloons that said 'Happy Mother's Day!' and tied it to the frame of her 'hospital' bed, which we had set-up in her living room. My grandma came and made her famous meatloaf for dinner. My mother was unable to eat, but she managed to nibble on a few green grapes. I noticed her toenails had been painted, but not recently. The nail-polish was growing out and only covering half of her toenails. So I found her nailpolish remover and got her toenails all cleaned up... then I located some more polish and re-did them for her. Later in the day my uncle showed up, bearing carnations... both red and white. It's tradition in my family to wear carnations in honor of our mothers. The red are worn by those whose mother's are still living, and the white by those whose mother's have died. I managed a joke that he should have brought pink carnations for myself and my siblings, given our mother's state at the time. But I took a red carnation and pinned it to my shirt, knowing it would be the last red carnation I would wear on mother's day.

Five years ago today...

Since my mother died... I miss you mommy!

since you've been gone (Dear Mother...)

five years have passed (doesn't seem possible)
i've moved (but just once!)
i rescued a cat (she's all white-- like Bruno)
i've fallen in love (yes... with a woman)
i came out to Dad (said he was neither disappointed nor surprised)
i've quit smoking (again)
my grey hairs have increased (as have my wrinkles)
Ted lost his job (several times over)
and he's living back with Gram and Dad (much to their dismay)
Grampa B. passed on (have you run into him in Heaven?)
rainbows and sunsets have special meaning to me now ('paint the sky pretty colors for me')
i notice alot of things I didn't notice before (and see a piece of you in everything)
things i thought were important aren't now (and things that weren't, are)
i still see you in my dreams (a couple times a month)
I realize now how much I loved you (and how much you loved me, too)

Channel 4 - The Worst Jobs in History - Career guide

Channel 4 - The Worst Jobs in History - Career guide: A career interest test, of sorts... with results being from the crappiest (sometimes literally) jobs in history. Here's what the test revealed about me--
"70 to 100 You’re bold as brass and brave as a lion, but not such a messy pup. You might be prepared to cope with being an Arming squire with its potential for you becoming a knight, but you’re actually ideally suited to some of the high-risk worst jobs such as Topman, Powder monkey, fish-fingered Viking sailor/warrior, outnumbered Riding officer, Petardier's assistant or even Guillemot-egg collector."

Vitamin Z

Trapped... in the insanity that is mine
Running for cover from my own thoughts
Dodging bullets of negativity
My only armor a little yellow pill
That I affectionately call...
"Vitamin Z".

First Lines

Some years ago, John Yarbrough was working patrol for the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department.

This month, we showcase the work of Luis Torres.

Do you have a LightScribe drive and LightScribe media?

Anyone who has made an invention can apply for a patent.

Eating pussy can be one of the most wonderful things you can do for a woman (or so I read on the cover of Cosmo).

“Old school.” There’s something about that term that sums up what’s great about the classic ’70s and ’80s funk and soul jams.

This new database charts conservatives' dishonesty and compares it with the truth.

Is everything people do ulitimately driven by how it makes them feel about themselves? If so, doesn't that make everyone selfish on some level?

For over 10 years,
ADA Tactile Systems has been on the leading edge of the design, manufacturing and installation of detectable warning systems.

This is not a normal diet book, and I am not a normal diet book author.


Frameless Rendering (FR) is a rendering paradigm which performs stochastic temporal filtering by updating pixels in a random order, based on most recent available input data, and displaying them to the screen immediately [1].

Advertisers' exploitation of captive audiences is on the rise.

This guide teaches how to give and receive erotic massage.

Alter Ego

Alter Ego
I had a lot of fun with this game. You get to relive your life from birth to death. It can take a while to complete the game, but your place will be automatically saved for you to come back to and continue.
As things worked out for me, I graduated from college with a degree in Engineering, but wound up with a job in business, after holding several part-time jobs and long periods of unemployment. It took me awhile to find a stable relationship and did not get married until late-adulthood. Also did not have child until late adult-hood (adopted it, as I'd already begun menopause)... and didn't get to name the child until I had reached old age...lol. Overall, my health through most of my life was not so great, and infact, I was heathier in old-age than I was in youth. My husband died from a fall, and I eventually died in my sleep, our child still a baby.

Typo Generation

For those who don't know...

This is a cheese box.

Why 'The Cheese Box'?

Well, when I was a kid, my mom used to keep a cheese box under her bed in which she would have all of the poetry and such that she'd written. I always tried to get to the cheese box so I could read the contents, but my mother would catch me and tell me I wasn't allowed to read it until I was older. When I grew older, my mother changed her story and said I couldn't read it until she was dead. She died in May of 2000, and I now have her cheese box and have thoroughly enjoyed going through her writings. So I decided to name my blog in honor of my mother and her cheese box.